Overcoming Flushing The Toilet
I’ve worked in project management for a long time and generally enjoy seeing a project through to completion, especially if that project makes a big change in anything. With a profession like that and an urge to do it, it’s kinda crazy that I can’t start most projects without immediately convincing myself I don’t have the means to see them through. Given the task, I run the ball to the end zone. Creating the task for my own advancement, I can draft multiple pages on why it won’t work or how I don’t have the resources or skills to succeed.
There’s a shitty switch in my head that flips to protect me from failure before recognizing that maybe what I’m working on is worth something. I can’t imagine how many opportunities I pass in a day by flicking my switch and ruling I’m unqualified: jobs, hobbies, a dusty Peloton I occasionally have a staring contest with.
Where would I be if I claimed every opportunity and ran with it doubt-free? Would I be broke, hurt, and ruined, or could the wins outweigh the losses? I see it in my own kids, where they doubt something so easy, like going down a slide or flushing the toilet when they shit. I plead with them and bribe them to try it, but they typically have a “what if” excuse lined up. When I can show them the fear isn’t real, they typically light up with excitement: the dopamine hit of succeeding and overcoming, watching the shit travel down the drain, and then demanding compensation in the form of the candy I promised.
At some point, you lose your cheerleaders. You’ve witnessed what can happen, or even experienced it, and you live in protect-and-exist mode. It’s a bummer, but maybe putting a name on it will help.
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